As i sit back on my lawn, letting the grass grow around me, unknowingly gazing at the streetlight ahead which is rather merely glowing, seducing the melancholic darkness; observing people around me, people sedated by monthly salaries;
And I’m swayed to her thoughts again, just like any other moment. An angel i never dreamed of yet dreamt, a girl i never imagined to love;
So how does she turn my heart into a raging beast, pounding and clutching my ribs with every touch?
For i braved to look beyond her skin, scars and bones, to gaze at her soul, which was a bouquet of all beautiful things which humans couldn’t dare to dream of.
She always questioned herself of not being good enough.
looking out through the window, i kept aside my headphones.. the haze outside waiting to smother my favourite book lying across the bed..
suddenly the heart-rending clouds swept in an epiphany, memories swayed like waves of the ocean and a realization creeped in that I’m nothing more than a mere constellation of tragically forgotten truths..a collection of dreams that were consigned to oblivion..
so, i put on my headphones again, remembering all the times my mom told me i deserved the best..
“Devour me”, i closed my eyes and screamed while a coldplay song gradually started healing all the brokenness within..
how difficult it is to trust the night sky, at times it brings the irresistible peace amongst mortals yet, obnoxious..
sometimes, you let me drink in the sight of the myriad stars amidst the inky canopy of cimmerian shade.. and at times, the aura of the moonlight unleashed a flood of memories and left me gasping for an antidote to escape it.. and there are moments when my cigarette blotted out the raindrops showered upon me..and the smoke imperceptibly faded like the scars you left behind..
and I was only left to wonder if you envied the cigarette fastened between my lips..the same way I envied the darkness which protected you..
yes, you are a darker shade of the night sky outshined by a collection of unknown, real and imagined celestial constellations..